Sunday, October 24, 2010

Isn't it the most gorgeous day?!

Male Scarlet Robin (Petroica boodang) in the M...Image via Wikipedia
I woke up early this morning, and had breakfast outside with Kevin, enjoying the morning breeze and hearing the twittering of birds.  Kevin raked and swept, and I did some cleaning, and then we went together to the store.

We had the house power-washed this week and the carpet downstairs cleaned.  I've cleaned the whole house and dressed it for fall.  I strung some mini white lights on a tree inside the house and strung fall leave garlands around the windows, placed some pumpkins and fall flowers around, and it looks pretty cozy, if I say so myself.

I've taken a few minutes to blog, catch up on my emails, and now I'm going to read a chapter of "Little Miss Shopaholic."

Wish I had bought a hammock while I was at the store.  

Food, you say? 

Don't ask.

I'm still in vacation mode.
Enhanced by Zemanta

Thursday, October 21, 2010

FOOD, FOOD, EVERYWHERE!

I just can't get back into the swing of things.  I don't know what my problem is.  I'm not stressed out.  I'm not worried.  Life is good.  So why can't I get back to 1600 calories a day?  I am craving everything that is wrong for me.  And I'm gaining.  Oh this is MADNESS! 

Enhanced by Zemanta

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Feeling the Side Effects

List of U.S. state foodsImage via Wikipedia
I'm feeling achy, tired, and all around lousy, and I know it's due to my poor eating habits the past week and a half.  It's difficult trying to get back into the groove of healthy eating.  I'm craving pancakes, and doughnuts, and pasta, and jumbo shrimp and risotto.

I didn't do too bad during the day yesterday, but I had to work late last night and grabbed a happy meal from McDonald's for dinner, with 3 chocolate chip cookies.  And if that wasn't bad enough, I got a child's size chocolate milk shake. 

While I was eating that, I started catching up on emails and read one that Ellie sent me about what's in McDonald's hamburgers.  YUCK!  No wonder I'm feeling lousy.

Wish I could say I did better this morning, but sweet cravings got the best of me, and I ate a double chocolate chip muffin (not the Weight Watchers kind), and a cup of milk.

The good thing is that I have the rest of the day to make good, so I will heat up a Healthy Choice entree that I brought with me for lunch, with some brussel sprouts.  Ditto for dinner.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Monday, October 18, 2010

Grandbaby #2 In the Oven

Sometime in the latter half of June, Christina and Dylan will bring another child into this world! 

YIPPEEEE!

I'd write more, but I've got some shopping to do, ya'll!

Vacation

It's been a while since I've visited Bloggerville, so here's a little diddy about what we've been up to.

We went to Cape May, New Jersey, and stayed in a beautiful Victorian home one block from the beach.  We were able to see the ocean from the front porch.  We stayed in the Parlor Suite, which is on the first floor, and included a master suite, private bathroom, kitchen, dining area and living area.  The top of the windows were stained glass, and windows abounded in every room.  The dining area was in a turret-like area with windows all around.  They had a miniature replica of an antique stove, but it had a flat top!  Very cute!  The kitchen also had a full-size refrigerator, microwave, and all the fancy little dishes, teacups, silverware, pots and pans that you would need.  The living area had an adorable fireplace beautiful Victorian furniture, and a flatscreen tv. 

The bedroom was luxurious with a king bed dressed in soft egyptian cotton and elegant bedcoverings with lots of comfy pillows.  There was a huge armoire, gorgeous dresser and a pair of chairs.  A victorian sink was in the bedroom area, and the shower and toilet were in their own room.  The shower was dressed with elegant curtains and soft rugs were pleasant to the feet once you stepped out of the shower.  We had our own private porch off the kitchen with rocking chairs, and private, free parking on the premises. 

The town is flat and everything is in walking distance.  We walked along the beach on the cement promenade that runs the length of the town, and had breakfast at Uncle Bill's Pancake House.  Delicious pancakes made better with a view of the ocean while we ate and drank our coffee.  We went shopping at the outside mall just a block and a half away from where we stayed, and found lots of cute things that we couldn't leave without. 

We took a trolley tour of the city and saw all the beautiful Victorian painted ladies (that's what they call the houses), and heard some interesting stories about the residents, past and present. 

Also took a drive to the Cape May light house and then out to Sunset Beach, where you can dip your toes in the water about 10 steps from where you park your car.  There is a little gift shop, putt-putt golf, and a ice cream joint that was unfortunately closed due to the season.

We had perfect, breezy, sunny weather and enjoyed some marvelous food.  If you ever go to Cape May, you must check out Tisha's.  They serve lunch and dinner, and it's a bring-your-own-bottle kinda place.  We will remember the next time and bring a bottle of wine with us.  They sell bottles, but they start at about $28 a bottle.  We had the seafood risotto with jumbo shrimp and scallops with mushrooms and spinach over risotto with a delicious sauce.  The meal started with a salad with a balsamic vinaigrette that was out of this world, along with crusty hot rolls fresh from the oven and creamy butter.  We simply did not have room for dessert, but will make sure we save room next time!  Tisha's has to be the #1 restaurant in all of Cape May.

Another great place to eat is Alethea's.  It's a huge inn across the street from the ocean, and wherever you sit inside, you will have a nice view.  We enjoyed a fantastic hamburger and chips with sweet tea for lunch.  They have an antique shop on the premises and a huge porch with big rocking chairs where we sat and enjoyed the sea breeze and absorbed some Vitamin D from the sun. 

Cape May was wonderful.  We went off-season, so it was almost like we had the town to ourselves.  Just enough people to keep it interesting, but not too much where you had to wait in line or need reservations anywhere.  The beach is clean and beautiful.  One thing we will do next time is rent a two-seater bike (they kind of look like paddle boats), but they're bikes, and they have a little canopy to cover your head.  Very cute!  We saw lots of bikers on the beach promenade.  It's a perfect place to bike.

As soon as we left Cape May, a little raindrop fell on our windshield.  The weather matched my mood.  I didn't want to leave and wanted to shed a few raindrops of my own!  So we decided to extend our vacation and head on over to Dover Delaware, where we played the slots, and Kevin won $68.00 at the penny slots!  We enjoyed a great late afternoon buffet lunch at Dover Downs, and ended up spending the night in Dover. 

The next morning we had breakfast at Bob Evans and then headed to Wilmington to visit Alfred DuPont's beloved Nemours.   What a place!  The grounds were stunning with pools, fountains, flower beds, statutes.  And the house!  Oh my gosh!  You all should take the time to go visit this place.  Expect to be there about 3 hours (more if you want to walk the grounds on your own).  Start at the Visitors center and take your time visiting the timeline that is the hallway.  Enjoy a 15 minute movie giving you some background about the DuPonts, and in particular, Alfred and his wives.  Then a bus takes you up the winding lane to the house.  They break you up into groups of 6 and give you a personalized 1 hour and 15 minute tour.  Be prepared for steps and lots of standing -- but it is worth it!  After the tour you can walk the grounds and meet the bus a little later, or get on the bus right away and take a narrated tour of the grounds (you get the narrated tour even if you meet up with the bus later).  They will take you down to the garage where you will see some beautiful cars -- the Rolls Royces were my favorite. 

I left Nemours with a great respect for Alfred Dupont, a great philanthropist, and all the wonderful gifts that he left behind, most notably to the Children's Hospital which sits on part of the original 3,000 acres that used to be part of his estate.  His estate continues to provide for the sickest of our children. 

The Brandywine area, where Nemours is located, is gorgeous.  We had been to the area before when we visited Winterthur and Longwood Gardens -- something everyone should see before they leave this earth as well.

We ended our visit in Wilmington with dinner at Red Lobster and then headed on home.  One of our more delightful vacations.  Can hardly wait until the next one!

Now, about food.  What can I say?  I enjoyed myself.  Immensely.

Let's just say I gotta do alotta damage control!  Day One.  Week One.  Again.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

More good news

Got the results from my mammogram.  The girls are just fine!  I'd take them out for a spin and celebrate, but they aint what they used to be, if you know what I mean.  No flashy convertible for them.  Supportive and sturdy humvee, maybe.

Now if I could just join Dr. Oz and his two VERY devoted fans, Judy and Ellie (because really now, Dr. Gloom and Doom couldn't have any more fans), and get the other end checked out.  But I just don't know ya'll.  There's just something very invasive about it.  Yee gads.

The cold is getting a little better.  Kevin got me some chili, and I could actually taste it. 

I had oatmeal and oj for breakfast, chicken noodle soup, rye toast, and prunes for lunch; and chili, a small burger, peaches, and a bananna for dinner. 

We'll see what the scale says tomorrow.  Back to cereal, milk and fruit.  Yum-yum.

Day Two

Chicken soupImage via Wikipedia
I lost 1.4 pounds on the first day.  I am home today with a cold.  I had oatmeal with apple and raisins, and some oj for breakfast.  Because of the cold, will probably have some chicken noodle soup, toast, and o.j. for lunch.  Dinner will be another Healthy Choice entree of lemon pepper fish, brocoli, rice medly and apple crisp for 300 calories.  I will add 50 cal. brussel sprouts and a side salad. 

How I wish this cold would go away!
Enhanced by Zemanta

Monday, October 4, 2010

Day One of Challenge

I can't believe it -- it actually was pretty easy to do, although it's only 5:00 and I just finished my dinner.  But I feel stuffed, and I can still have a snack if I get hungry later.

Breakfast and lunch (cereal, milk, bananna) worked fine with about 370 calories each. 
Dinner was healthy choice salisbury steak with green beans, red skin potatoes, and caramel apple multigrain crisp (310 calories for the whole meal).  I added 50 calories of steamed baby brussel sprouts, and an apple. Pretty yummy.

I woke up with a cold today, and so I'm going to take a hot shower, and snuggie in my blankie and read until I fall asleep. 

A Very Good Weekend

This past weekend was one of those that go on the keeper shelf.  Dylan, Christina, Madimoo and I went to see Eddie at Woodrow Wilson on Friday.  It was a gorgeous day and a lovely ride through horse and farm country.  Eddie was doing great, and looked good.  He lost a little weight, but he said the food pretty much "sucks."  But then again, he's pretty spoiled as we went out to dinner every night because I just don't cook much anymore.  So bland cafeteria food is hard for him to get used to. 

We went on a shopping excursion to Walmart and all had dinner at a steak joint.  Took some pictures of his dorm and realized the room needs some serious decorating.

He will be coming home for a visit this coming weekend as he has an orthodonist appt, and we plan to get some posters and a floor lamp, and maybe some curtains too.  The blinds in the dorm have seen better days. 

I also accomplished alot over the weekend, purging the house of things I don't use, and taking it to Goodwill.  Still have alot of Christmas stuff to go through and donate, which I plan on doing this coming week.  I'm also making good headway in my fall cleaning, and made a grocery store run to stock up on my week of turbo cereal dieting.

Heath is in gorgeous San Francisco on a job interview with a law firm.  They flew him out last night and he's staying in a beautiful hotel with a room that overlooks a part of the Golden Gate Bridge.  He says the city is beautiful at night.  The law office has two offices in California -- San Fran, and Los Angeles.  The San Fran people will meet him for breakfast at the hotel, and then he will fly to Los Angeles for a round of afternoon interviews.

I'm so excited for him.  He's so young and has already done a lot in his life.  He sang opera in the Young Artists program in Santa Barbara for two summers, studied opera in Italy for a summer while at college and met the love of his life, a fellow opera soprano.  After graduating college, followed her to Chicago and married her.  Honeymooned in Italy.  Got a job with a law firm in Chicago and transferred to their Philadelphia office, and now he's interviewing for a dream job in sunny California.

It's so far away.  But I'm happy for him.  If he accepts the job, we Virginia hillbillies just might have to crank up the jallopy and  join him and Annie.  And of course Dylan, Christina and Madimoo will have to come too.

And you want to hear some more wonderful news?  Christina and Dylan will find out very soon if they're going to be parents again.  Life is sweet.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

New Challenge

A spoon containing breakfast cereal flakes, pa...Image via Wikipedia
Judy and I are going to try out something different this week, starting tomorrow.  We are going to to the Turbocharge Special K Diet for one week -- compliments of Women's World, Jan. 19, 2009.  Supposedly, the skinny-minis that tried it out for Women's World each lost 8 pounds in one week, so I'm thinking I should be able to do it too. 

If anyone wants to join in, let me know, and we'll post our results next Monday.

This is the diet:

Breakfast:  1 bowl of cereal, up to 170 calories
                  1 small piece of fruit or 2/3 cup berries
                  1 cup fat-free or 1% milk

Lunch:        Same as breakfast
                 
                  or

                  1 1/2 cups mixed greens, 2/3 cups chopped veggies
                  3 oz lean beef turkey, or chicken or fish
                  1/4 cup shredded low-fat cheese
                  2 tbsp lite dressing
                  2 small whole-grain crackers
                  1 small apple or pear

Dinner:       1 frozen entree up to 280 calories
                  1/2 cup steamed vegetables
                  1/2 cup fresh fruit

                  or sample cooked meal:

                 4 oz fish, baked or sauteed in 1 tsp olive oil
                 1/4 cup mushrooms and 2 tbs ripe olives
                 1 cup steamed veggies
                  1 small whole-grain roll (less than 100 calories)

Snack:  choose one daily:  1 small pear or apple and 2 tsp peaut buter
                                         1 cup lite yogurt; 1 tbs nuts
                                         100 calorie pack almonds
                                         1 small fruit or 2/3 cup berries

I've already bought my stuff for the week.  I plan on doing cereal for breakfast and lunch, and doing a McDonald's chicken ceasar salad, and their bag of apple slices, sans the dipping sauce,  if for some reason I'm out and about and cereal is not readily available.  For dinner I will be eating Healthy Choice entrees, the Green Giant microwavable single serving vegetables, and a piece of fruit.

The cereals I chose were Multigrain Cheerios (110 calories for 1 cup -- so I can have 1 1/2 cups and it will look like ALOT!)  I also got a box of Kellogg's Fiber Plus Antioxidants Berry Yogurt Crunch (170 calories for 1 cup).

WHY THIS DIET IS GREAT:

Don't really have to think about food much, it's a very simple plan with limited selections.
Budget friendly.
Easy portion control.
Cereal increases your vitamin intake.
Excellent weight loss results.

I'm R-E-A-D-Y!
                
Enhanced by Zemanta

Thursday, September 30, 2010

THE BEAST

It took me FOUR friggin hours to get to work this morning.  There is nothing worse than driving in rain with a full bladder.  I had even contemplated turning around at one point and going home.  I should have.  What a friggin night mare.  50 miles of bumper-to-bumper traffic on the beast. 

I got in at 9:00 am and was starving.  Ate 2 waffle sticks, 1 and 1/2 pieces of bacon, and a cup of grits with butter.  I could have done worse ya'll.  There were some muffins and pastries whistling at me, but I walked on by. 

Gonna have some soup for lunch, and another salad for dinner. 

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

One Minute at a Time

Thanks from the bottom of my heart for all of the wonderful support, lovely comments, phone calls, and e-mails.  You all definitely made me feel much, much better!

Today is much better.  I even lost 1.2 pounds!  Hmmm.  Doughnuts for dinner?  Yes!  Okay, I know, I know.  NO!  I was just dang lucky!

I think what happened is that I had a very reasonable breakfast yesterday and only three bites of lunch because the bad news came at lunch time.  So in all I think I had about 1,300 calories yesterday, even with the doughnuts. 

The bad news I spoke of yesterday has been resolved to a degree.  It's a wait-and-see for right now.  Hopefully things will completely turn around and I won't have to revisit that problem again. Keeping my fingers, eyes, and toes crossed.

Some days, you just got to take things one minute at a time, and that's what I'm doing today.  Had a reasonable breakfast of about 500 calories, a reasonable lunch of about 400 calories, and plan on having a cobb salad for dinner. 

I just gotta get a grip on this!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

FEELING LIKE A TODDLER

I got some bad news earlier today, and I just wanted to throw myself on the floor and have at it.  When I get really bad news, I lose my appetite.  For a while.  And then once things settle down, the appetite comes back stronger than ever.  And as usual, when I'm feeling overwhelmed and angry, or scared, I want nothing but doughnuts.  And so that's what I had for dinner.  Two of 'em.  Chocolate cake doughnuts with chocolate icing.  (800 fun lovin' calories)  I knew as I ate each and every bite, that it wasn't doing a dang thing for me but adding to the two lumps that already make up my ass. 

But I swear those doughnuts saved me, and probably some other people, as I didn't engage in road rage, or pull my hair out, or cuss, or any number of things.  So for tonight, and only for tonight, doughnuts were my friend.  Tomorrow I'll give them the cold shoulder and tell them to get the heck out of Dodge.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Starting Over

Yesterday I ate too much.  And now I have 2.5 pounds to lose to get back where I was two weeks ago.  Errgh! 

Went to a baby shower for Judy's daughter, Julie.  Had a great time, and enjoyed seeing all the new babies. Jean, honey:  Lilly is soooo ADORABLE! You do good work!  And Christina, I swear you need to get a portfolio of Charlie.  Ya'll could quit your day jobs.

There was fried chicken, potato salad, cole slaw, subway sandwiches, shrimp, biscuits, cookies, cake, and soda.  Had it all, ya'll.  I was so full, that I didn't eat until waaaay later that evening, and then had a small BLT and 1 cup of vegetable soup.  Breakfast had been a sausage mcmuffin, hashbrown, and o.j. 

So I started all over today with 1 egg, 1 piece of bacon, 1 piece of toast, and some grits for breakfast.  Just had a ham and cheese on pretzel roll and bananna for lunch.  Gonna have a fugi apple and chicken salad from Panera's for dinner. 

House cleaning for some exercise tonight.

I WILL BE IN CONTROL THIS WEEK!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Carbs Before Noon

I'm still in recovery mode from last week.  Almost back to where I was, but still need to lose 2 pounds to get there.  So today I'm eating my carbs before noon, and then eating low carb tonight.  I'm going to Mimi's for dinner and getting the petite sirloin, salad, and asparagus. 

I decided not to blog about my past.  I deleted the two posts that started delving into the dark regions of my memories.  It didn't do anything for me but get me down.  I'm bigger and better than my past. 

I don't think there is a one person in this life who hasn't had something horrible happen to them.  Or maybe lots of horrible things happen to them.  That's why I think there also isn't a person in this life who doesn't have some kind of vice.  Whether it's food, or drink, or drugs, or excessive shopping, or gambling, or sex, or whatever.  My vice just happens to show itself to everyone I meet.  And maybe that's not a bad thing.  It's forcing me to do something about it, and try to live a healthier life.  After all, I have everything to be happy about -- a loving and uber supportive husband, great kids, fantastic, loving, friends, and an all around satisfying life. 

I know I'm an emotional eater.  That's just a fact of life.  I'm an emotional person.  That's another fact of life.  I just need to replace eating during stress, with something else, and I think I may have found it.

I used to write stories and poems all the time, and won a few awards.  And then jobs, and sometimes two jobs, and kids, and marriage, and divorce, and failed relationships, and well, life, got in the way.  When Eddie went to Woodrow Wilson the first time, these two stories started budding in my mind, and then he came home for a while and I had to put them on the back burner.  But since he's been gone this second time, I've been writing up a storm, and I have two projects going on.  They are both romantic comedies. 

It's really helping me at night, when Kevin is at work, and I'm home alone.  It keeps my mind off of food. 
I think I've found my passion. 

Friday, September 24, 2010

Fun Friday

It's my day off, my fabulous Friday, to do with whatever I want.  Yooo Hoo!  Confirmed my reservation for the Columbia House in Cape May for our vacation.  Check out this link to the parlor suite:
http://www.thecolumbiahouse.com/parlorsuite.html

Is that gorgeous or what?  I can hardly wait!

I just got off the phone with Eddie.  He's doing great.  He says that he figured it all out:  that if he compliments the teachers in each of his classes, that things go alot better for him!  I think that's a most excellent observation on his part!  I told him that's an important lesson in life, because it will work for bosses too someday.  And a wife!

Well, this morning I'm meeting my buds, Ellie and Judy, for some shopping and lunch.  Hubbie is putting gas in my car as I'm writing this and getting us some breakfast. 

Now, if summer would just get the hint that's he's an unwelcome guest, and get the heck outta here already!  Upper 90s today - geesh!



Enhanced by Zemanta

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Taking a Break

Enough of memory lane for a while.

Just to give an update on the eating situation this week:  I've been much better at controlling my eating.  Losing the weight I gained from last week and almost back to to where I was.  Missing Eddie, but glad he's at Woodrow Wilson.  Saw my Madimoo last night.  She sure does talk up a storm, and I swear she gets cuter by the day!  

Looking forward to taking a vacation in a few weeks.  Kevin and I decided to stay a little closer to home and go to Cape May, New Jersey.  We'll take the ferry from Lewes, Delaware, and stay in a Victorian inn for 3 days.  For the rest of my days off that week, I'm going to attempt taking down the wall paper in the hallway bathroom and then paint.  I like the cottage look and would like to add some white beaded board, and a white pedastal sink with new vanity mirror cabinet and lights.  I would also love a white claw tub, but don't know if that is doable -- I think it would require retiling the entire bathroom floor!

Well anyway, hope you all are having a marvelous day.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Sunday, Woodrow Wilson, and oh yeah, Food

Got Eddie safely to school, and helped him set up and unload all his stuff.  We left him feeling good about things.  Really couldn't have asked for a better day ... nice and sunny, no humidity.  Although warm, there were signs of fall all along the way (some color in the leaves on the mountains, and yellow fields).  Eddie took his tv, computer, game system and DVD player with him, so he'll have all his creature comforts with him.  We met one of his dorm mates, who was a heck of a nice kid.  I just got off the phone with Eddie, and he said the other guy arrived just a little bit ago, but that he was really nice, and they were having a lot of fun.  Sounds good.  Keeping my fingers, eyes, and toes crossed!

Okay.  Now, to what you really want to hear about.  Food.  (I'm squirming here).  Got some time?  Here goes:

Breakfast was oatmeal and o.j.  Not too bad.  But stopped in Charlottesville at Michie's Tavern and had two fried chicken wings, some mashed potatoes with gravy, green beans, stewed tomatoes, black eyed peas, a biscuit with honey and butter, and a few bites of peach cobbler.  On the way back from his school, stopped at a Burger King to use the bathroom.  On the way out, grabbed a small fry.  At 9:00 pm, was feeling hungry.  Can you friggin believe it?  Ate two cheeseburger sliders and some more fries.

If there was a rehab joint for fat people, I'd sign myself up.  Geesh.

But all is not lost.  Before we left today, I did manage to go to Walmart and load up on healthy stuff for the entire week.  I got cereal, fruit, healthy choice entrees and yogurt for my breakfasts and lunches.  Dinner will be a stop at Applebees each night for one of their less than 550 calorie meal dinners. 

I feel absolutely miserable.  Bloated, and very, very round.  I am so ready for a healthier week.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Busy Friday

It's 9:30 pm and today has been one of those non-stop days.  It began with a quick McDonald's breakfast at 7:00 a.m.  (I'm not making any apologies today.  It is what it is, Bill Clinton.)

Next was a 2.5 hour eye appointment for Eddie.  Why 2.5 hours?  I still haven't figured it out.  Then it was to the orthodonist for quick nip of a stray wire, CVS to pick up prescriptions, lunch in Culpeper, a trip to Walmart, a visit to the HGG for a new computer for Eddie, and then dinner with Dylan and Madison.

When I look at what I've eaten this week, it really hasn't been that horrible.  An extra biscuit here and breadstick there.  Yes, I'll admit, too many desserts.  But it could have been alot worse. 

I'm going to plan out my week on Monday and get back to 1600 calories a day.  That's reasonable.  Slow maybe?  Yes.  But it worked. 

Now off to nighty-night land!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Getting to the Heart of the Matter

My fellow blogger, Christina, articulated very well last night, the utter frustration of the weight loss journey.  Like her, I have been struggling with motivation for the past week.  It's like my fat cells have memories or something ... like they can overthrow my brain.  They are used to a certain way of eating and they are going to get what they want by God come hell or high water.  Like Christina said, it just doesn't make sense at all.  I definitely want to be thin and healthy.  So why do the cravings overcome me?  Yesterday I started out great,  but I lost control again last night. 

I told you about what I ate Sunday and Monday, and I gained a couple of pounds back because of it.  So I started over on Tuesday, but ended up at Olive Garden since Kevin was off from work that night.  I had salad, 1 and 1/2 breadsticks, pasta with meat sauce, and a chocolate mousse pie.  Then I met Christina and Dylan at Logans and had some sweet tea and 1 loaded potato skin.  Holy crap.

Yesterday I told myself I was definitely going to be on track.  Made it through the day just fine, but then last night went to Red Lobster and had two biscuits, salad with red wine viniagrette, wood grilled talapia, broccoli, and baked potato with butter and sour cream.  Then went to Wegmans and got two doughnuts and ate them both.

What the hell? 

And now I just feel miserable.  I'm no better than a drunk or a junkie.  Food is my fix, and I definitely fell off the wagon. 

Now how do I get back on, and stay on.  I'm beginning to believe that weight is all in the mind.  Why can some people be so disciplined?  And why am I not?  If I discover the answer to that, then I think I can lick the weight problem.  I have to be honest with myself.  It is more than just liking food and eating too much. 

Why two doughnuts instead of one?  Why two biscuits?  Why is half of a dinner satisfying one day, and not another.  Why can fruit and fresh water feel wonderful sometimes, and at other times I feel I need comfort food?  Where did that all begin?

That's what I'm going to be working on these next few weeks.  I'm going to discover where the overeating all began and maybe through sharing it on this blog, I can finally let it go, and get on with a healthy new life.